I was already very lethargic after 4 days of touring Hongkong and Macau, but, I was still excited about what was ahead.

Next stop: China, Swatow



Ok, the place wasn't what I thought it'd turn out to be. I imagined like, loadsa trees, thinking it'd be some village land, but nooo, the place is just, grey. I mean literally, it's the colour of grey. Hahaha you'll get what I mean, soon.

And... I had terrible pre-conceptions of my China relatives.

I assumed they'd be very uncouth or very backwarded. But what am I talking about? It's China. They're developing so fast, theyr're getting so rich. Remember how I assumed they wouldn't even know what braces are? Omg, the girl who greeted me USED TO WEAR BRACES. She told me she just removed it.

And speaking of their people, my relatives there are the most MOST MOST HOSPITABLE people I've ever met!!!!! They greeted us with smiles at the airport and I was just thinking who the hell are these people standing there and smiling. I mean, I assumed they were smiling at people behind me, then I realised they were smiling at my Singapore relatives. Immediately they took our bags, greeted us and the girl whom I spoke of just now, hooked her arm around mine and led me. My aunt told me it's a custom of theirs, to hook arms with others.

I was excited, to see the place of my ancestors.


But, there was this one time when I did feel slightly uncomfortable while I was there.

I was alone at the hotel lobby with a group of my Chinese relatives and they were all about the same age as I am.

One of my aunts asked me in Mandarin,

“如果人家问你，你是从哪里来的，你会说什么？”
- If people ask you where you're from, what would you say?

I confidently said, 新加坡人。Singaporean.



SHE COUNTER-ATTACKED ME AND SAID,



“不是！你是中国人！”
- No! YOU ARE CHINA MAN.

I mean, YOU ARE FROM CHINA.

In my head, I was just like going, wtf man what am I supposed to say now?! Like seriously? She was totally attacking me with her Maoist ideas. I was wondering omg, Mao seriously did a damn bloody good job at propaganda.

But I understand her. Becoz, if it were me, and I see Singaporeans migrating to say, Canada, I would be quite angry as to why these people have no sense of loyalty to their country at all? Moreover, they call themselves Canadian? What?! NO! YOU ARE SINGAPORE MAN. Hahaha. But ok, seriously, I understand her sentiments.

But, the thing is, I was born here in Singapore. And bred here. My loyalty is to Singapore, and I can't possibly say I'm from China right!? I have no emotional sentiments for China. That's crazy. If you're talking about my great grandfather then yeah, maybe. BUT IT'S UNFAIR AND CRAZY TO MAKE ME THINK I'M FROM CHINA??!?!?!

There was a slight awkward pause that followed and everyone else there seemed to be anticipating my response, but I just gently explained myself. Luckily, I was called over by my parents after that. MERCY ON ME PLSSSSSSS, THANK GOD. Hallelujah.



Another problem is, going to China with a poor grasp of the Chinese language in a teochew(a dialect I do not know one word of) land, was not a very clever move coz I was practically A MUTE THERE. I really enforced 10 years of what I learnt of my mother tongue in full force while I was there. Omg, I think I almost forgot how to speak English after that. My relative asked me if I can speak Mandarin and I nodded my head and she was like, luckily you can, because if it's english, they definitely wouldn't know how to communicate with me. I gulped.

Whatever it is, I still think they're super friendly. The hospitality they showered us, was unbelievable really. Like a brother. And a sister. It felt like family, even though I had never met them before.

EQUIPPED WITH THE MASTERY OF ALL THOSE LANGUAGES, THERE I WENT, HERE ARE THE PICTURES OF MY HOMETOWNNN,

Remember, the purpose of my visit was for a wedding, you'll see them soon, but before that, my relatives brought us to..... EAT!!!!!!

Day 1,


Their cups and bowls come in really small sizes, I dunno why. Anyway this is like their national drink or something. It's everywhere over there.




They had dish after dish coming in. I swaer, at least 10 dishes. I dunno if it's an everyday thing or it's their custom to do so whenever they welcome visitors. And then, their rice comes last. Strange.

Simple dishes, but yummy.




My relative's freakin huge house. The groom's father's house. Almost like a bungalow, but smaller. However, since it is four storeys' high, maybe it's as big as one.

The wedding was the next day, so we had a day of touring Swatow




The rest of the place was quite dilapidated I've to admit.


A convenience store!



My relatives' old house, before their windfall.




Apparently, my dad slept here before, the last time he came here which was 11 years ago and everyone was just so happy to see it and felt the nostalgia. But I was just, bored.


Plus,

THEY OWN THEIR OWN TEMPLE!!! It's like the village temple. COOL OR WHAT.










Big gigantic tree my dad insisted I take a photo of.


That's you.



Streets,




Told you it's grey!!!!


Hotel.

Our China relatives were freakin generous.. they paid for our hotel stay. Not only that, they paid for our food and transport within China as well. Mind blown.


Communism.


Dinner,






Penises.


FRESHEST SEAFOOD IN TOWN. Btw, I was kidding about the penises, they were fish roe.




Their version of chee cheong fun


Omg, their porridge... looks damn plain but damn.. delish.


China kids playing.






After that, I TOOK A RIDE ON A MOTORBIKE!!!!! Omg, damn thrilling. Their traffic's so bad, honk here honk there but still.. woah, love it. But bad for health coz I sucked in too much of the wind which had a lot of dust. Damn polluted there ugh.


Their version of the KFC


Tried their ice-cream and no, it doesn't taste as vanilla as it should be. It tasted strange. Like play dough if I recall.


Day 2-
DAY OF THE WEDDING!!!! Had to attend the customary tea ceremony in the day and then, the evening reception.


Teochew dimsums to fill our tummies in the morning. Of course, not as good as HK's!!!!


The Groom's house


The Groom's father. Don't play play yo?


They love to eat this I dunno why. It's offered all the time but it's so bloody hard. Olives.


They love to smoke this as well. When nobody was watching I slipped a cigarette pack into my pocket. Heh. Chain smokers wouldn't even know.


Spotted this little cutie over there


Paedophile Singapore aunt. Excuse her please. Zomg if any of my relatives read this, they'd think I've no respect hahhaaha.






Bride and Groom!

Heard the Bride's 18 omfg. Heard the Groom's 28. omfg. Heard he's a really shrewd Businessman. Omg. Just sharing some of the local gossips.

Let's put it to perspective again.

He is my greatgrandfather's brother's son. So I don't know what he is to me. But he is someone, to me. Definitely a someone there, seeing how they're well-off.


I discovered a number of things while I was there also.
He is actually not my greatgrandfather's brother's son. BUT my greatgrandfather's half-brother's son.

My greatgreatgrandfather supposedly had 2 wives. What a player, that one. I'm sorry if it sounds confusing. All the greats. But it's so far back and nobody knew about it till they were there.




Customary Tea Ceremony


Fringe arrangement






Tea.


Traditional tea board.

They have this really intricate and delicate way of pouring and serving the tea. Like they've to go through this whole routine on the board by pouring tea over each cup to wash it. Then serve it.


Smoker.

Couldn't help but,


Shoot it in black and white.
Just look at that cloud.

I featured him ya know. So many other smoker friends, but I chose him! Gasp.







Pretty right this girl?


Cutiepies


One more time.
Don't see him skinny skinny ah, he's pretty street-smart and sociable in the social scene over there.






Pretty bride!


Haha, they look so cute together flustering over her messed up fringe.


This is how they like to hook arms






This is the girl who escorted me almost everywhere I went. I love her so much!!!! Really. She's damn freaking nice it's IMPOSSIBLE.


I think she's pretty!!!! Same age.
Totally doesn't have that typical china look. She's pretty!!! The guys on the other hand, definitely China face.

I got my hat from H&M in Hong Kong btw!!!!! Couldn't resist it, so I had to get it. Unfortunately for me, I think they'll hit stores in Singapore real soon. Booooooo. It's gonna be found everywhere.




And bloody hell, they have this whole void-deck layout place all for themselves. Lunch was there.




I don't know why but despite the size of the bowls, they're BIG?? Like, the bowl holds enough food? It's an illusion!?


Abalone in your face.


If you understand Chinese, this is such an irony.



Wedding car,





Car plate. They're allowed to do this over there, both front and back.

Hate the flower arrangement tho, look damn....... cheena :S I'm sorry, but there's really no better word.


Over to another house after that, it's like CNY








Cute kids.












They start from young.

Night came and it was time for the evening reception,




Surprisingly, the hotel wasn't as swanky I imagined it to be. And people weren't dressed like how we do, over here. Surprising.

So when we came, we kinda made an entrance. People stared and whispered, "ta men shi xin jia po ren"- They're Singaporeans. You'll know how I was dressed afterthat.












Everyone. Smokes. You can freakin smoke indoors. It was suffocating I tell ya.


Emcees


Couldn't get a clear photo for any of their pics






Red Chinese number


Singing by two of the relatives






Chen Ting! That's her name btw. Also a Tan.
And yesss, I wore a Sarong Kebaya. All my Singaporean relatives as well! They wanted to wear something uniquely Singapore. That's why we made sucha big hoo-ha. I'm not Peranakan.. but I discovered my great grandmother was :S I swear this is tiring to discover things about the past. All the greats put together.


Her sister.

Mann, I'm making friends with my own relatives within the 3 days.




This boy is sucha cutie!!!!
I really love him. He's gonna grow up into a charmer.

Weddings end early over there... like 9pm!

Headed to a karaoke after that in a trishaw. They were so nice to ask me along coz I was about to retire to my bed, when they called me unexpectedly.





Btw, remember how I told you I'm gonna find a China guy there.

I DID IN THE END LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


He's damn nice!!!! And my age. He's my uncle tho hahahah wtf were you thinking!

Everyone there's like my uncle and aunty. My cousins are in fact.. the little kids. Hahahahahhaha. Screwed up world.


Day 3-
Omg, finally. I was damn exhausted.. couldn't wait to go home. It was a 6pm flight so we had the day to tour.


Outside my hotel


They have this only in China hotels. Horny lil shitz.
The rest are Sex oils and stuff, I srsly dunno how they work.



Hehe, he wanted to hold my hand ;D

People there have hands that are SO WARM. Can you imagine, this boy's little hand actually warmed MY chilly cold hand. Literally. It's really quite cold over there. But they must be used to the weather. I, on the other hand, couldn't wait to get away from it.

You know, I think the kids over there, including this one must've thought something was wrong with me. Coz I couldn't speak teochew... and he hasn't learnt mandarin. So basically, we couldn't communicate at all with one another. But he liked me awww!!




Aww, I love this picture



CUTIE!!!!!
The girl lah dey.






Can't wait to see this boy again, 10 years' time.




Long alley


Their market, damn old school and traditional. Quite nice to walk through one.










Chairman Mao spotted everywhere. Up till today. He still has influence even tho he's long dead and gone. This is sorta like a home for the aged btw.


Pair of leg warmers I bought in HK. Love it!!!!!! Hope it wouldn't be too hot for me to wear it over here....




LIKE A BOSS!!!!
I swear, this one, smoking like a boss. Salute. She's got style. Singaporean grandaunt btw :S


Farm that a relative owns,










Starfruit and date.








Pathetic dog.


Some water feature in the house. I swear they're rich.



And you wanna know what makes them rich?



Manufacturing these,





here.

I believe you'll get rich starting up any kind of business over there. It's SUCH a lucrative market over in China.

My Singaporean relatives almost got into the venture with them but didn't. Imagine... I could be freakin rich now woohoo!!

Soon, it was time for us to head back to Sunny Singapore.

I really discovered a lot in this trip. I've to admit I was damn exhausted throughout my time there. Plane after plane. But knowing my relatives all the way back in China is, woah. And I'm sorta the next generation to take over so that I can maintain ties and contact with them over there.

China is rich now. My Chinese relatives are the rich ones now, not us. Many years ago, it was us helping them financially. Now, look who's the one earning big bucks now. What's more, they're so freaking kind and generous I really dunno how they can cope with being so nice.

Before arriving China, I thought the joke would be on them, but the JOKE WAS ON ME. Seriously, watch out for China.

Took a few last photos with Chen Ting. I wrote her name as "Tan Ting" in a paper she gave me with her email address on. And she nodded ahh, Tan. We're family!!! But so far apart... Can't believe I forged sucha special bond with someone in a really short time.



I told her, probably the next time I see her would be 10 years later? Damn freaking long. But she said, No, the next time, she's going over to Singapore. Hahah. I swear I will try my best to be a good host when she does come over.


My charming granduncle saw me smelling a bunch of flowers in his home and plucked this and gave it to me. It's damn fragrant!!!

Freakin charming people. I'll miss Swatow.

Boarded the plane(which we almost missed.. long story)

And... it's bye bye China! Treat this as a Chinese New Year post ;D  ¶ 3:05 AM