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Here's me and ma twin I love to tell people that my mom and I have the same birthday. I must've been the most painful and joyful...

a quarter century old

Here's me and ma twin
I love to tell people that my mom and I have the same birthday. I must've been the most painful and joyful gift she's ever had!!

And I know this sounds terribly solemn, but I told my mom that when she's gone, my birthday would also be terribly sad because a part of me isn't celebrating together with me. They say mothers and daughters don't always get along, but I'd like to say that we always have.

The only thing I'd dispute is our horoscope. We're both Libras, but we are for sure so damn different. I am so much more like my dad in terms of personality... That's why I've never really believed in horoscopes *shrugs*

Btw it isn't my birthday just yet, it falls on the19th.

Which was why...

I was sooo surprised when they celebrated mine!!
It was just a simple cake, but truly, I think it was pure happiness that I'd felt last Thursday night. I couldn't stop smiling when my old wkw uni buds surprised me after dinner at old airport road's hawker centre. I'd always been good at sussing things out. So this one... I gotta give it to them ;-)

25... Think this is the best age to be - I'm enjoying my youth, I've got a bit of time, and I've some money.

Plus, I've my friends and familyyy

Old friends (jb outing last Sunday)
Older friends :-)

New friends...
And newer friends!!

Who also turn out to be crazy my colleagues

And as I grow older... 
and wiser...
and more self-aware....

I hope I also...

and remind myself that I don't know everything.
And that there's a big world out there.

Before I get excited, I must also remember to take one step at a time. That everyone is at their own pace at different stages, and comparison takes me nowhere. To do that, managing my expectations is essential. While achievements are good, a little bit of tension and hiccups are necessary.


It's good to be twenty five.

Am currently soooo obsessed with this song arghhh. I'll be groovinnn every single time I listen to this (which is basically every ...

Jeezers, I think I'm growing younger!!

Am currently soooo obsessed with this song arghhh. I'll be groovinnn every single time I listen to this (which is basically every minute of my life right now hahaha) Love old school song remixes.

Speakin of dancing,


With ma loverz
Sarah thiammmm -
the wkw spirit lives on in every one of us even after school la
this one needs no introduction teehhee
We were at Ariana Grande's concert (yeah i secretly love her songs it's such an embarrassment but still, she's soooo good. live as well)

Poor Huiquan was too squashed up with the mob that she had to quit half way to get some air at the back hahah.

Dustbin babies
Right after that, it was the Chainsmokers and she was BACK IN ACTION. I'm not so much a fan of them cuz so much electronic tech music. Still, we danced the night away sooo much fun!!! AM I GROWING YOUNGER??? I've been missing out on all this during uni days - broke and studying full-time - ain't nobody got time and money to be having fun then.

So now, I realise what I've been missin' out all this while HAHAH.

Still, never too late ;)
Out with Huiquan's colleagues as well - look at her cheeky face!!!


And then the next day I had to work on a Sunday at 8am. Even before the event, I was working - I guess we can never totally be free from the shackles of society. 

Wow though, haven't had so much fun in a while aaaah!!

I had a chat with a Muslim colleague back in June when it was the fasting period. I was sitting beside him and wondering why the hell he was...

Why I don't have a religion (and my greatest fear)

I had a chat with a Muslim colleague back in June when it was the fasting period. I was sitting beside him and wondering why the hell he was sucking on a sweet, and I noticed an opened bottle of green tea on his table. First thing that came to my head, "wah this one rebel ah".

So dearie me just had to ask... with hesitation and a sense of trepidation... why wasn't he fasting like the rest of the Muslims.

He wasn't offended or anything, in fact, he was quite happy to answer me. "I'm questioning my relationship with my Creator". I was quite surprised by his answer because I had always assumed Muslims were always quite certain of their faith because most of them, in fact, almost all Malays that I know, were born into the religion. Cradle believers. Seeing how they're always so disciplined in prayer (every friday, and certain times of the day), I thought they'd never question. Were they even allowed to question??

He said he didn't want to fast this year because he wanted time off to think about his religion. I didn't get to ask what was bugging him, but as with all things intangible like faith, I suppose he was struggling in believing the Almighty's existence. He even cited how someone so pious like Mother Theresa questioned her relationship with God, suggesting that he wasn't alone in his thoughts. I read about her story too and understood where he was coming from.

Then it was my turn.

"What's your religion? Are you a Christian?" I shook my head, smiled, stretched my arms and said, "I'm a freethinker!" A bit too jolly I reckon haha. He smiled and said, "Do you believe in a God then?" I said that although I don't adhere to any one religion, I would like to believe that there is a God. That's the idealist in me talking.

I continued, "I don't have a religion because..." :

1) I've always believed that religions were man-made to quell man's fears - the afterlife. Therefore the creation of heaven and hell, good and evil, right and wrong.

2) Religions are backwarded. Traditionalist. And because most of them refuse to evolve with the times, and because they're guarded with so much sanctity, some people have chosen to "protect" the erosion of "morality". At all costs. Resulting in extremism and fundamentalism, which leads me to my next point.

3) Religion has caused so much death, destruction and war to mankind. More than race and the colour of your skin, I've witnessed religion having power over any other factor to tear relationships and breed distrust amongst people. Working in the newsroom where I get to read stories from around the world, I see people fighting every single day merely because of their differing faiths.

The latter reason has always troubled me, ever since I was in JC when I studied History. In our essays, we could never leave out 'Differences in ideologies' as a factor in all the wars that started. I think if you leave it out, your essay sure fail. Palestine and Israel, India and Pakistan - never-ending wars since decades ago unresolved till this very day. And right now, even Buddhism - one of the most peaceful religions - is at war with Islam, the Rohingyas in Myanmar.

But I can never understand why people have to fight, because at the end of the day, I see that all of us - men, women, homo, muslim or buddhist - we all meet the same fate when we die.

And if there is a God, I see him welcoming all of us with open arms. "Believer" or not.

I told my colleague, "When I see Muslims, Jews and Christians fight one another, I feel like telling them, your God is the same God. You're all fighting for the same holy site - Jerusalem. And your religious scriptures have so many overlaps, (Jesus was a Jew. Both Allah and Jesus were messengers. Various persons in the Koran and Bible have similar stories), why can't you see that you're actually brothers in faith?"

Please, put down your arms and stop killing yourselves. If I were God, I would wake up all of your ideas.

Then of course, there are the many other questions such as, if God were here then why would he want to cause so much death and destruction. why make us suffer. why this and that.

Haiya, I also dunno la.

My colleague laughed and he agreed with what I said earlier.

I asked him, "Do you talk about this with your friends?". He nodded. "Are they Muslim?" He shook his head and replied, "Catholic".

I wasn't told why, but I'm thinking it's not easy to talk about questions of faith with your own community for a fear of being judged. That you're a bad apple for even asking these questions. They'd say trust in the path that God has for you and your obedience will be duly rewarded.

But I sincerely believe that God wants you to question too. Otherwise, what's a relationship with God when it's blind faith? Each time you question is an opportunity for a relationship renewal. It's always a work-in-progress.

There are also a few more reasons as to why I don't have a religion. This, I did not tell my colleague simply because the reasons never crossed my mind at the time. But more importantly, they're reasons that are a lot deeper and specific than the three I mentioned above.

If you think that I formulated all of my ideas on my own without being open to explore, you are wrong. Because I have. Many times. I've lost count of the different Protestant churches I've been to - even in other countries like New Zealand and Myanmar. I have visited Buddhist temples, as well as Catholic churches. (I've never been to a mosque and hindu temple though because of a difference in cultures and a lack of friends from those faiths) But I have tried.

Here's what I think about my experience so far:

1) I don't trust all religious leaders. Despite the numerous times that I've visited churches and attended service, I find it hard to subscribe to Christianity, especially to charismatic churches because they're too complicated. The language in which they speak is convoluted and laden with unnecessary emotion. I listen to the pastor, and while there are various times when I walk away feeling inspired, there have been too many times when I call out their bullshit. Instead of teachings, they play on human vulnerabilities and exploit them. Then when money comes into the equation, religious leaders themselves fall into a spiral of lies, deceit and corruption.

2) I don't trust all the people who attend these religious congregations. Many of them think they have higher moral authority than everyone else - I don't agree. You're not a Saint and like everyone else, you sin and commit mistakes. Who are you to judge? What's worse is that I've seen church goers judge other church goers. I don't think God rewards the person who prays the most number of times or dresses the best on Sundays. Life is not a competition to win God's favour.

To me, a relationship with God is simple. Just you and him and nothing else in-between.

Finally, there is one last reason why I still haven't subscribed to a religion:

3) There is a part of me that believes that actually, out there, somewhere, there is no God. That, there simply is no reason to our existence. How we are created. Why we are created. That these questions will never be answered. If you look at the cycle of life - Taoism is right. Everything exists in cycles. We live, we die and another life is born somewhere. That the best we can do is live the best life that we have now, where each day is to be thankful for and time spent with people we love is precious.

While it is a scary scenario and one that I do not advocate, I am not ruling it out either.

Death has been the one question no man has ever answered since the dawn of time - and there is a part of me that concedes. I surrender to the unknown. I won't bring in the discourse of Science VS Religion because I see those two as disparate. I believe there is a spiritual realm out there, which science cannot explain.

Ever since I was young, as far as my memory can go, I have always feared death - not knowing what would happen to me and that I will never see my loved ones again. Because of this, I cry when I think about death. But it also makes me laugh because I fear nothing else - not bugs, not ghosts, not public speaking.

I will never say never though. One day, I might subscribe to a religion when I'm convinced. When perhaps, the fear of death becomes too overwhelming. Or if a spiritual encounter comes round the corner.

I told my colleague that Buddhism and Christianity appeal to me. Buddhism for its teachings and Christianity for the idea of a benevolent God.

He nodded with a pensive look on his face. I leave him be and we carried on with work.

I really enjoyed that conversation. And if more people are willing to talk about their religious beliefs, in a respectful manner, we're one step towards understanding each other. That's what the world is lacking, and that's what we need if we want to live together.

WAZZZUPPP Check out how long my hair is now!!! Ok lah, I went to cut it off two weeks ago so it's not THAT long anymore. I couldn&#...

hey there ~~

WAZZZUPPP Check out how long my hair is now!!!

Ok lah, I went to cut it off two weeks ago so it's not THAT long anymore. I couldn't stand it so long. Just checkin in for a quickie to tell y'all I'm still very much alive. I don't know if I told you guys but I'm over at International News department now. Which means I write for the hourly bulletins on CNA on all things International. I must say this has been the busiest time of my career thus far. It's only been a month since the switch, or rather merger, since they merged the departments of Singapore and International producers into one. And it's a mad rush every hour to produce news. Not just that, I'm learning how to write business news as well - and that's another ball game altogether.

So the past month and a half, I've been exhausted. The only saving grace is that I no longer need to work the night shift (yay!) - normal office hours for me now from 8am-6pm. So I've got a social life yeh yeh yeh. And I realise how much I need it - also how much I've been lacking in it the past months. The funny thing about my schedule is that for all of us, we'll have one week that's a 6-day week (which means I only get one day off in a week and that's a Thursday) - good thing is the following week would be a 3-day week (which means I only work from Wednesday to Friday). While that sounds awesome, since we sorta have an extra day off, I've come to realise that I CRASH during my off days of the 3-day week. Meaning I'm just recuperating from the exhausting 6-day week. In other words, I never really get proper rest.

There's that part of me that NEEDS and CRAVES quiet time alone at home, so I was suffering. There needs to be at least a day in a week when I get to just coop myself at home and do nothing - no outings. Just me time. But the entire month and a half, I haven't found that time and space for myself due to social commitments that could not be turned down.

For example,

My German friend Nora, whom I met in New Zealand, came to Singapore!! And I hosted her at my home (to be honest, I was sooo tired from work that I didn't quite have the energy to entertain her enough) We visited the roof garden at Pinnacle @Duxton and it was my first time too and it was gorgeoussss - one of her fav places in SG too.

There was one Sunday when I ran a 10km race in the morning, went to Macritchie for the treetop walk with her and then cycled around Pasir Ris Park at night all in the same day. Dead. But I was soooo happy to have met her again after 4 years!! 4 looong years since I last met her.

Thaaat was us back in the day hehe with ma best friend Jan right there.

Not just her, my Myanmar friend Than Htike came over last month as well and I was again, tired ass but still a devoted Singaporean proud to show off her nation to her international friends!!

He's such a bozo.
Quite a model ah this one.
I think people either love Singapore or hate Singapore. Those who love it love its forwardness and its economic vibrancy. Those who hate it, probably thinks it has nary a soul with its concrete jungle.

I'm so happy to see my overseas friends because now that I'm not travelling much, they bring the world to me!! :) Another bunch of Myanmar friends will be coming over in Sept/October. And in November, my Korean friend will be staying at my place as well. I'm excited!

Other cool stuff that's been happening my life...

Ma first credit card!!!
(hehe imma christmas tree now)

Finding out how I look like as a boy and when I'm 65

Had time to meet these gorgeous people :)

Some who have been growing old with me... (and moving on to different phases in life!!)

Some whom I've been keeping in contact with since our internship days...

as well as University days...
(The two on the right are getting married yeehee!! The one next to me still siao and beautiful)

And there are others whose paths diverge from mine...

Shreeya!!! My closest pal in the office has left for Sweden to do her Masters and I already miss her presence in Mediacorp.
But no one should leave without a bang

What would I do without this bunch sigh!
On her last day of work, she stuck this on my locker!! And I was soooo happy to see it hehe.
It's a picture of us back in 2014 when we first knew each other!

Airport departure! Bon voyage~~

These were two of the loveliessstt interns (Jermaine's from NUS and Ria my NTU Wkw kid teehee) who left before Shreeya did.

It's damn sad one leh when people leave. Morale plunges. Sadly, more people will be leaving in the coming months. I've come to realise that not many people stay. Not sure about other industries, but over here, people are constantly leaving.

Anywhos, life goes on. I won't be leaving any time soon that's for sure.

I still got my soul sister

And funky friends~ (Huiquan's dance concert at NTU last weekend)

life is good with them always :)

And right now... All I want to do is SLEEP.

As far as I know, the reason why I'm exhausted is also because I haven't had enough sleep bahah. I strive to sleep before 12am every night now cuz waking up at 6am is no joke. I'm trying to build some self-discipline and routine in my life now. Think I'm getting somewhere. There are days when I don't get enough rest and I think it's not good for the body. Also trying to get fit enough to climb Kinabalu (again!!) in end October (one day after my birthday!!) I'm taking it slow and steady now at work, still learning every day and keeping my chin up.

Work life has been challenging the past year, but I think I'm adjusting. I also really like my new team. Once I've found that rhythm, I think all's good!

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