My favourite song as of now. I know I mentioned that before but I couldn't embed it for some reason then. I don't understand the MV, please someone tell me what it means. I even googled it hahaha I'm such a freak. I love it tho. I love all of Lana's MVs coz of the vintage vibe. And for this MV, I love how 2 girls are like.. I DON'T EVEN... but I like their closeness? Oh don't go pointing fingers at me saying I'm lesbian and all, but I love this MV coz of that!!!! I love sisterhood!

Anyway, it's the song I'd listen to in Laos all the time and post-Laos singing aloud "SU-SU-SUMMERTIME SADNESS" Hahahaha. I even got Sianpei hooked to the song muahahah success. Su-su-summertime Success.

It's one of those crazy fav songs that I'd listen to over and over and wonder when's the time I'd snap out of it and get over! Bet I'm not the only one who does that. I dled Lana's album before I went to Laos, a couple of her songs actually remind me of Laos, good God! Like particular songs suited the mood right there and then.

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Speaking of Laos (yes omg she's gonna talk about Laos again... that's like every day every time I'm sick of this woman),

Ok, I can't believe I'm finding it hard to even say this.. but, I've decided and am going to...


Lead WKWSCI OCIP 2013

Ahmagad, the thought of it excites and thrills me like mad, yet is unnerving at the same time.


When they asked me if I wanted to do it, I was all, "nononono". Then I backtracked and gave it a good thought.

So many things ran through my head, as I recounted the days spent in Laos and FOR Laos.

I knew that there will be A LOT of work to do. I was talking to Sianpei about it on our last day in Laos and I told her about my insecurities and how I would love to do it and lead a team but felt that there were other people who were more suitable for the role.

I told her about my commitment level to this project.

I remember thinking how bloody difficult it must have been for our leaders to be doing so much things during the last school semester when for me, I was going through HELL with school work and shit. What in the world must it be like for them then?! While I was studying last sem during recess week, I wondered "How do Carrie and Peiying do it? Do they have a lot of time? So much so that they can go on a recce trip to the village during recess week? WTF I'M DYING HERE!!!!! HOW COME?!"

Yeah, that is my major concern. Not being able to focus on my school work when I've this to do. OR THE OTHER WAY ROUND. Neglecting OCIP for school work instead. I'm the kind of person who has a brain that has the mental capacity equaled to that of a freakin loris. I'm S-L-O-W. It can't function like a chimpanzee's. But yeah, multi-tasking isn't my forte.

They say "GPA is Forever" and it kinda is. A sad fact for many of us University kids out there. It's a tough fight, really and yeah, I have concerns about my GPA.

Besides academic insecurities, I have always thought about this..


I've always doubted myself and questioned my ability to lead. They say, Leaders are Born, not made. So at some point of time in my life, I self-prophesised and decided that I'm not one of those born with the spirit of LKY or Gandhi or Lincoln or Churchill and the list goes on. I banished myself as part of that other percentage who's born in some other class, maybe that of the gypsies hahaah. I'd look at others and be inspired and at awe. Even ordinary schoolmates. I'd get impressed by them.

During the trip, I saw Carrie's amazing ability to lead. I even told her in a card, which all of us wrote to one another, that I observed how she moved as a leader. Creepy as it may sound, I watched her and was impressed by the way she was able to make decisions really fast and commanded the team as a friend, without sounding overly dictatorial. Yet not a pushover. A perfect balance. And she was able to act with grace under pressure. Never in panic-mode. NEVER. I was truly impressed.

And partly because of that, I was like, Omg how am I gonna live up to such a Legend with a capital L. HAHAHA. I put too much pressure on myself sometimes.

So, before making my decision, I had a lot of questions running through my head. I thought quite a bit and asked around for people's opinions before I came to a conclusion. I consulted my friends, even my FOLKS.

I think the one person whom I spoke to and convinced me that it was something worth going for, is Yenhuei. She spoke to me about her sister who did the same thing. Went for an OCIP trip and led the next one. Bullseye. The first person I spoke to and the perfect one at that! It must be fate. Her sister had gone to Cambodia and was nominated by her leaders to lead the next project. Yenhuei told me that there'd definitely be a lot of things to do but ultimately, her sister seemed to have enjoyed it very much.

I mean, it sounds like a standard answer coz that's the feeling everyone gets when something's accomplished after putting in tons of effort. But if you think about it... her sister managed. And I was incredibly inspired by her. I know, what a word to use but I really am inspired! Having known someone was able to pull through even after a crazy semester, I felt more confident in a sense.

In fact, by the time I approached my parents, just 3 or 4 days ago, it was mainly to seek approval and for them to comply with my decision to go ahead with OCIP 2013. They warned me of an arduous task ahead, but at the same time, told me that I'd learn a lot because of the whole experience. My dad told me I'd definitely make mistakes. But I'd learn from them. That's what they all say. I got scared lah duh, but I guess it is true. He was the one who encouraged me to go ahead with it. It was my mom who was the naysayer. She knows me best. She knew I had a tough semester before that and knew I'd get stressed when I study so she said if I undertook such a project, I'd definitely go mad. She was worried for me and I knew she was. At the same time, she caught what I was trying to tell her. She could tell that I really want to do this because she says I'm looking for a nod, instead of seeking out. At that point of time, I didn't think of it that way, but yes, I think I was. She knew my heart had already made up.

I needed some form of confirmation and I guess that came from my parents.

My dad was like, "JUST DO IT LAH". Hahahah, well that was comforting. Sorta.

My bro, oh he's just him doing his own thing.


From now till then, there's gonna be a lot of work to do. I'm gonna have to put away all those second-thoughts. No more over thinking. In fact, I shouldn't over think AT ALL while I'm undertaking this project. I've a feeling, what's holding me back is MYSELF. I'm the asshole in my life hahaha. Time to tell the asshole, hey, go find some other hole to get your ass up in. I don't get what I say sometimes. And I guess, I gotta learn how to laugh at myself and not get too hard-up on myself. I love to destroy myself, it's insane.

Studies, I will definitely have to and must learn to manage my time well. This is one thing I'm gonna have to be mentally-prepared for. I know no matter how prepared I think I am in my head, I'm sure I will explode at some point in time, but hang in there Si Hui. No one else will come out as strong as you are after this.

I'm gonna take allll the experiences I've ever had and have them drive this journey. GL time was a major first step to it I believe, working as a team with Hilary, Deyong and Kia. And now that I'm heading to NZ alone, I'm gonna be making my own decisions and doing my own thing and I'll take whatever I have and propel myself onwards to the next OCIP expedition.

No matter how many times I think I made the wrong decision, honey, I made the right one. I know there are really big shoes to fill, after a rousing successful pioneer OCIP trip of WKWSCI to Laos. Expectations, expectations, I shan't weigh myself with too much of that coz I know myself very well. I'd go CRAY CRAY with them. But. Sianpei and I discussed this before,

We were thinking, what will set us apart from the first one is to make this upcoming OCIP a unique one. At the same time, take a bit of its magic from the first to the next. The first OCIP will always be amazing, but it's not all about how the second one will be better. It's how we're gonna make it different and because of us, make it AWESOMEZZZZ.


I am psyched! I've been looking at other school's OCIP trips and what they've done. Just coz I was kaypo-ing and was interested haha. Carrie and Peiying are gonna hand over to me soon by the end of this month to draft out what's in store for me and my co-chair.


Speaking of that, I NEED TO FIND A FRESHIE TO BE MY CO-CHAIR ZOMGGgggg. Honestly, I do not have anyone for certain right now. I have names, but I'm not too sure about them and working with them. I need to ask around.

Most likely heading back to Laos again to continue with the project to make it a sustainable one. Really hope we can go back to the same village coz Sianpei and I are so familiar with the place and we'd get to see the same people again. I feel like I live there already! And yes, Sianpei's coming on board the team, so you're gonna see a lot of her.

I can't foresee what the future holds, but I really do hope everything will turn out fine and dandy by the end of this whole journey. YOU will be on board as I try my best to recount everything that happens along the way. Admin, canvassing, YEP stuff, wow a whole lot. Whew. Along with my NZ exchange, wow, 2013, you're gonna be a wild ride.

As of now, I'm thinking more about Laos than NZ which is insane! I need to start reading up on NZ and get myself prepared with grazing with the sheep! Most likely corresponding a lot of admin issues through email while I'm there.



In the meantime, WISH ME LUCK GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!