I've been experiencing anxiety attacks the entire day. My heart is in pain. Literally, In Pain. Like it's aching man. There's this clenched up feeling inside of my ribcage, terribly sore. I have to admit, it's because I'm freaking anxious about my trip to New Zealand. I honestly am quite scared of what's to come, yet excited.

I couldn't sleep last night. Only fell asleep at 4 plus am, after much tossing and turning. I now understand the term "Tossing and Turning" coz you literally keep tossing your blanket and pillows around and turning to get into the best sleeping position, thinking it'll help. And guess what, I woke up at 7am today. It's insane!!! I simply couldn't fall asleep!!!!!

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M FLYING IN 2 DAYS' TIME!!!!!! Argh omg.

This year's CNY has been particularly moving for me. Nothing special, in fact this year's Chinese New Year has been the same as always like the past few years. Just that.. everyone's been so excited for me, and for that, I truly am touched. If you've so much as asked me "Are you excited?", I'm already touched by that gesture. I may not show it, but honestly deep down, you've sent my HEART AFLUTTER. Not love in that sense. But simply asking me that question tells me that you bother and that you actually CARE. Which I am so thankful for. All that advice, that my friends and aunties have been giving me.. I mean, SHOWERING me with.. makes me feel so loved. You know who you are, I don't even need to name names.

Ever since 2013 came around, I've gradually started to find myself getting more and more attached to my family. Especially CNY, coz I know right after that I only have a few days left before I leave for NZ. Sometimes, I think 5-6 months ain't that long, considering the fact that you KNOW that you'll be back after that. So there really isn't much fuss. But if you think about it, it's longer than BMT. Longer than any army boy's time away from home. Furthermore, they get to call home every blardy day. And come back on weekends. Take that! But I do hope, the excitement and the fun that I'll have there overrides any form of homesickness.

And I guess the February batch of people going overseas will miss their family more since there's been a build-up of emotions the entire month of January and half of February. Enough to form some kind of attachment to people around them. Ahh.. same goes for me.

But you see... Adventure is Out There! And there really is nothing for me to be scared of. (self-consolation begins)



Watching UP makes me feel so hopeful of what's gonna begin for me. Sometimes I wonder how kids' animation can be so inspiring. Btw I tear up every time I watch this clip. Sometimes I let the music run on its own without watching the clip. The ups and downs. Undulations of the music and how the characters bounce back in their lives after every setback.

Although this love story isn't real, you can tell how venturing and exploring the world can mean so much to a couple, or more specifically, a girl. Alas, to how one's dreams may not always be fulfilled......

So I guess do what you can, while you still can and have the means to do so.

And zats ezactly vvhat I'm gona do.

I'm halfway done packing. Can't believe it takes DAYS for me to pack my luggage, not that there's tons of things to load in, but more of... What am I gonna put in. I have dilemmas on what piece of clothing to bring along with me. That floral pants? That white shirt? What? What do they wear there? Am I overdressing? Underdressing? Will they mistake me for a XXXX? Blahblahblah.

Here are some of the stuff I got to go along my maiden voyage alone.


Ma new specs. Yeap comfort for the eyes is a must enroute to your destination.



Trusty backpack! From Winning. Coz I'm a winner.



And yeappp that is my half-packed luggage. All set to go. Not really actually since I've more stuff to STUFF. Hope this baby doesn't overload 23kg.

And yes, my trusty brown school bag parked right next to my luggage!

All I hope is I have enough winter/summer wear. Winter especially, since us Singaporeans aren't very adept or equipped for the cold.

More packing to be done after I'm done with this blog post.

But before I go, here's some Food For Thought : ) Found it particularly meaningful.