... with my secondary school friends.

I used to think friends are forever, but as I move on in life, I start to realise... this notion, cannot and will not sustain for every friend. I honestly really thought it was impossible to lose touch with friends. I mean, we shared great experiences, memories that I can never exchange for the world. But somehow.. along the way, I get the sense that we are all moving along. We realise we no longer have time for each other, we find new people whom we share and discover new interests with. Boyfriends, new friends, we don't have as much time for one another back in the day when we were only 15. I notice as we form new relationships, the old fade away and we no longer can spread ourselves everywhere and share our love with each and everyone. It's sad and I cannot help but feel this way... And I have been feeling this way for a long time and been yearning to blog about it but stopped short every time. Recently I've been feeling particularly disappointed at reaching the state of where my friendships is now because to me, friends are very important. So having to feel lost, to lose faith in friendships I treasured so much when I was younger, is upsetting. I still treasure them, but I'm starting to lose hope. Sometimes when meet ups do occur, I realise our conversations and the atmosphere are no longer what they used to be. Our paradigms have shifted, we prioritise differently and pursue very different things in life. There's no more common bind that used to run through all our interactions.

I also realised, years sometimes don't count. Not all friends who know you longest, know you best.

I used to not understand why people break up. How can two people, who once shared such loving memories filled with joy and laughter, end up broken and tattered and becoming 2 disparate peoples. Why can't they simply jog down memory lane and relive what used to be - simple as that. Life needn't be so complicated.

But, I kinda understand why now. They say it's because people change. I like to say, people are just moving on... they realised they have found different fulfilling things in life. To be stuck in the past, will not do. And for two souls to part and find their own selves and ways, is in fact, better off.

Sigh, the pains of growing old. Guess I just gotta get used to it. I can't help but want to cling on to these friendships. After all, we've been through so much, why not stick it out? It's been close to a decade... yet, we want to settle for this?

I must admit though that it is getting tiring to keep up, when no one else really tries. Mere promises that never bear fruit. What has become of us!