I dunno why but when I'm overseas, I have mood swings. I feel suppressed/

And in the past week I've had extreme mood swings. I really hate it. It's one thing I can't stand about girls. But I really don't know why I have them when I'm overseas. I never ever have mood swings in Singapore. Never. I always feel good about myself, and I'm seldom angry.

But these few days here in Myanmar... I get so angry with people, I don't even know why.

I was telling one of my Burmese friends today that I'm so... angry today and frustrated. I tried to run through my mind what my problem is.

My friend said that it could be... the loneliness. That I'm alone too often and I've too much spare time that I start to go crazy.

That's one. Another thing is, I haven't wrapped my head around this yet, but there are two possibilities:

1) I'm annoyed when I have too frequent interactions with the same bunch of people over and over again till I get sick of em. 

2) I suppress my negative emotions till I get frustrated.


I used to think it could be the former. But I think it's... the latter.

Here, I have no one to express myself to when I'm feeling down and out. I don't have someone to talk to about my problems. I always listen to others' problems here, but I don't have anyone. I am alone. And suppressing all my emotions has made me frustrated and angry. I haven't even understood my feelings properly.

I've been so upset with myself today that... I didn't eat breakfast, lunch and I'm probably not gonna have dinner either. Just a mango and sob myself to death hahaha.

I'm angry with myself for feeling emotional. I haven't been able to control my emotions well this past week and I'm upset!!! I've always been good at it, but today I showed my worst face to my colleagues and I think it's unfair to them lah, coz they didn't do anything wrong.

Sigh. But... I'm coming home tomorrow and I just need a re-charge. I need that social circle again. I want to cry but I can't cry haha. Nothing is coming out. I have been so... suppressed.