In all honesty, this is hard for me to say, but I'm feeling my weakest emotionally now. Weak because I feel like I'm dependent on a person now more than ever before. A listening ear and a shoulder to lean on. Why? Because it's getting harder for me as the dates draw closer. I had the knowledge and the prepped mental state that I'd miss so many important occasions so I thought it wouldn't be so hard. Yet when the National Day songs play in the supermarkets, and I stroll through the alleys amongst my fellow Singaporeans, I can't help but feel a shiver down my spine and my eyes start to sting. I was so happy at my convocation, but I won't be around for my brother's or my friend's. I feel sad because I can't be here for both my country and the ones who have given me so much. While I have none to give in return. 

Sometimes, I wonder if it's a test. But a test of what? Loyalty? Strength? Kinship? What?

So it is quite difficult for me to leave for Myanmar again. But what is life without pulling through tough times? I know I will come out of it stronger, more aware both of myself and the world. 

Someone asked me recently, "If you have an option to pull out from Myanmar, would you?"

I gambled with the thought but I gave a straight out no. "Because I am not one to give up."

Indeed. I am not one to give up. 

So here I am waiting for my flight back to Myanmar. Need to sleep btw haha. Early flight once more, and all the best to me!!!!