I stayed at home the entire day today on my off day because I'm down with a flu and cough. If there's anything that I hate the most,...

hang in there

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I stayed at home the entire day today on my off day because I'm down with a flu and cough. If there's anything that I hate the most, it's to be sick. I would never take an MC to escape work... I'd only do it if I'm really sick. And the sad thing was, I COULDN'T take MC last week because I had work to do. I told myself that I had to last through the week before I can have some semblance of peace the week after.

But anyways, it's already the second half of 2018!!!!! so. fast.
And you know, how around this time of the year, you kind of forget what your resolution was at the start of the year? Yeah, same here. I went to look at my blog post again, and I realise... I almost lost sight of what I told myself at the start of the year.

That's why perhaps my mind and body went into overdrive. And that's how I fell sick. Maybe.... I've been treating my job a bit too seriously. I need to remember to keep my expectations in check and tell myself to breathe.

Then again, I guess I'm also adjusting to the new job role. Reporting, really isn't easy. I feel.... really tired on some days. Like really, really tired. Sometimes, it's not what we have to do that's tiring, but the juggling of different stories that's weighing me down. Feels hard to breathe sometimes. In the past couple of months, I haven't really found the time to exercise either!!!! And exercise makes me feel good, and so the lack of it has also started to affect my mental health jeez.

Sigh, and it times like this when you start to think about the meaning of life and that kind of mumbo jumbo.

I'm currently reading the book "Option B" by Sheryl Sandberg, and she talked about the power of journaling. How writing helps with processing thoughts, rationalising them, making sense of it all. It helps with self-compassion and being kinder to ourselves. I thought about that.. and I realise my way of journaling has been this, right here in my blog.

So even though I've been busy, I will always come back here to pen my thoughts and reflect.

And right now, I'm here to whine and rant about lethargy and fatigue. Wondering how much energy I still have in me to last through the years. Whether I can still craft stories in a meaningful way.

I realised the fatigue was getting to me when I wasn't trying to get to understand my interviewees as people... I was merely... trying to get the interview done and over with. That made me feel horrible.

But the job is so fast-paced, I feel bad that I'm not treating my interviewees with dignity. But merely for a "story". It's sad, it really is. So sometimes I keep a mental note that if possible, I must always thank my interviewees at the end of the day when I still have someeee time.

It's only been two months, and I'm trying to hold on. But I tell myself, it's only the beginning, and I only need to get used to it. I've been through tougher times and this too, shall past. All about adapting - transitioning is always the hardest.

If you're a friend, and you see this, drop me a cheer-me-up note, or even something silly like a dog's cute butt or your stupid face bahha. I'll appreciate it loads!!!!!


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