Faint bokeh. To set the mood.


Anyway, my 20th birthday was spent ok. With good friends and family. I think that's enough for a birthday. Thank you for the lovely cards and cake, my friends. I ask for nothing but your presence and well wishes! And they have been fulfilled so thank you very much. I might have appeared slightly on the off-side but I do hope you guys know that I was very appreciative of everything, to a point that I felt undeserving. I was happy lah!

I haven't felt this for a while in all of my past birthdays but it's the first time I feel really grateful and thankful to have my parents and brother there with me on my birthday. Usually, it has been anticipation for celebrations with friends. And only friends. But this year, it has been a joy just having a meal with them and talking cock as usual. My family is not like other families, and I think we have just about enough, for me to feel happy to have a family like mine. I wouldn't need more caring or understanding parents. Or another brother. They're enough as they are. I wouldn't ask for more. It is a unique family and that's all I have to say. And I don't like sharing anything about them with others coz I think matters of the heart(family) should be kept within and not be told to the world. I don't talk about my family to people very much coz I think they shouldn't be. Just keep it to yourself, that's all where it needs to remain. I don't have to praise them just to prove to you anything. I know it.

Just Skyped with Suxin for 2 hours. (2-4am) Wished me all the way from Korea. And egged me on with words of motivation for me to study hard. Coz I realised I have been losing that momentum and I really needed someone to tell me to press on. One of the best people I've met in Uni. Somehow, you just know who your true friends are. Even some whom I don't talk to very much, there IS still a connection and the feeling that I know they'd stick their necks out for me. Whereas there are some, you can talk to about many things, but they're not as sincere as you think they are. YOU CAN JUST FEEL IT. These things don't have to be expressed overtly. You sense it.



Anyway, aside from all the friends family blahblahblah, I must say one thing.



And that is,

I NEED TO PUT MY BIRTHDATE ON FACEBOOK. I HAVE TO>

I NEEED the attention.

I CRAVE IT. I have to HAVE people to wish me. Yes, I need at least 200 wishes on my wall to feel satisfied. I NEED people to know it's my birthday. HAHAHAHAHAHHA.

I need it. I do. I can't pretend I don't want them not to know.

But I guess this is the point in time when you do know who bothers about your birthday. And I know now. People like Lionel and Xi Hsien bothered to wish me through text and I am thoroughly grateful through and through. They're gems that shine I swear.

Because to be honest, I didn't wish them on theirs this year. That's how f-ed up I am. And they still bothered.

Experiment. That's how you find out. Who. Cares.

Now I know. And now, I'm gonna put my birthdate back on Facebook. HAHAHAHA. I'm an attention-whore.