About me
A Singaporean girl chronicling her adventures of life here at home and abroad. Stick around!
Lim kopi jiak roti
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Coming Home
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So today, I woke up at 6.30am and wailed on my bed like I was at the wailing wall of Israel.
I woke up with the song Golden Ship in my head with the lyrics, "Goodbye, goodbye to all.." repeating in my head. and I felt this immense sadness and every important person whom I've met on this exchange came flashing before me. Tears started to stream down my face as every happy memory with each individual person came to mind.
I remember having mixed feelings yesterday and I ranted to a couple of friends. I wasn't feeling sad at all. I was even surprised by that, maybe coz I just ended 2 tests in one day. So I was more relieved than anything. But I have been feeling strange the past few nights. And Yuanyun's message got to me as well.. something about, having good times here in New Zealand and that it'll always hold a special meaning in my heart, but it's time.. To go home.
Whatever I've been through, good or bad, were all memories and experience nevertheless. And I appreciate every bit of it. Recently, I've been wanting to go home coz I felt like I haven't seen my family and friends for quite a while. Then I remember... that all these people I meet here and now... I won't really ever get to see them again. It was almost as if I never met them. And I never lived my life here in NZ the past 4/5 months. It's crazy. It's like someone was playing a cruel joke on me.
Almost like I had an affair and I raised a family here, then it's time to go back to my real family back in Singapore, leaving behind all my illegitimate children lol lol.
I think my thoughts were so overwhelmingly insane that I just balled. Like a baby.
So much so that my flatmate asked if I was ok this morning coz she thought she heard me crying. I just said I was ok, and dismissed it. HAHAH like paiseh only. Hate to admit to people that I'm crying.
Anyway, it could also be attributed to the fact that I'm having my period now. So emotions are like rollercoastering. WRECKEDDDDDDD.
After crying, I felt really inspired to write letters to everyone, which I intend to. But it was too cold to get out of bed and I was warm under the duvet so I fell right back to sleep LOLL. Crying makes you tired.
Sigh sigh sigh my relationship with New Zealand is about to come to an end. My first break up.
I woke up with the song Golden Ship in my head with the lyrics, "Goodbye, goodbye to all.." repeating in my head. and I felt this immense sadness and every important person whom I've met on this exchange came flashing before me. Tears started to stream down my face as every happy memory with each individual person came to mind.
I remember having mixed feelings yesterday and I ranted to a couple of friends. I wasn't feeling sad at all. I was even surprised by that, maybe coz I just ended 2 tests in one day. So I was more relieved than anything. But I have been feeling strange the past few nights. And Yuanyun's message got to me as well.. something about, having good times here in New Zealand and that it'll always hold a special meaning in my heart, but it's time.. To go home.
Whatever I've been through, good or bad, were all memories and experience nevertheless. And I appreciate every bit of it. Recently, I've been wanting to go home coz I felt like I haven't seen my family and friends for quite a while. Then I remember... that all these people I meet here and now... I won't really ever get to see them again. It was almost as if I never met them. And I never lived my life here in NZ the past 4/5 months. It's crazy. It's like someone was playing a cruel joke on me.
Almost like I had an affair and I raised a family here, then it's time to go back to my real family back in Singapore, leaving behind all my illegitimate children lol lol.
I think my thoughts were so overwhelmingly insane that I just balled. Like a baby.
So much so that my flatmate asked if I was ok this morning coz she thought she heard me crying. I just said I was ok, and dismissed it. HAHAH like paiseh only. Hate to admit to people that I'm crying.
Anyway, it could also be attributed to the fact that I'm having my period now. So emotions are like rollercoastering. WRECKEDDDDDDD.
After crying, I felt really inspired to write letters to everyone, which I intend to. But it was too cold to get out of bed and I was warm under the duvet so I fell right back to sleep LOLL. Crying makes you tired.
Sigh sigh sigh my relationship with New Zealand is about to come to an end. My first break up.
