Recently I've been thinking about a lot of suffering I need to put myself through to eventually be the person I aspire myself to be. Ya know I understand that... but it's kinda sad that human beings have to undergo such hardship to eventually reach a certain state of maturity. In life, suffering is necessary. We need to fail and make mistakes in order to grow, rise up and be the greater person that we all want to be.

Even in Buddhist teachings, suffering befalls all man and it's just an inherent thing that human beings all have to undergo in The Journey of Life.

I know that through our own trials and tribulations, we see and understand ourselves better. We can undertake harder obstacles better. And reach a state of nirvana..

BUT WHYYYY. Why do we have to suffer. I'm asking a philosophical question, above everything else. Like why do we have to do that/ I mean why does God want us to suffer, let's assume that we all believe there's a higher being who created and conditioned all of us.

Suffering is so painful. Why can't we all live in paradise? Haha.

I don't want to experience death, wars, pain, illness... just general suffering, be it whether it befalls on people around me or myself. Why do we have to? I honestly don't get it.

I've read so many self-help books that say suffering is necessary. Yes I get that part. To be successful, we have to endure pain and suffering. All noble men have. Coz we reach a state of realisation and better understanding within ourselves that lead us to become something better. The road is never easy in order to reach our goals and we have to work hard, strive hard.

We've all heard that.

I justtt read this article about suffering too, on "What Suffering Does": http://www.nytimes.com/2014/04/08/opinion/brooks-what-suffering-does.html?_r=1

But but.. I don't wanna know WHAT. I wanna know WHYYYY. Why the bloody hell do we have tos suffer to reach our goals. Yeah, I don't mind striving hard for the goodness of becoming someone greater. But if everything was made easier, and the road less bumpy, that'd be great.

And I can tell God, hey, thanks man. Hahah.


- Ok, while writing this post, my MacBook just crashed and restarted itself twice on its own. Never happened before in its entire MacBook life. I think.... God is trying to tell me something HAHAHA.

Haiya, God ah, why ah. Why why why.

Because I fear having to suffer, I approach life and foresee my life with much trepidation. I kinda am scared just seeing what life has in store for me. Watch me fail, and fail miserably and hopefully, watch me rise up again? That's really scary coz I'm just waiting for the next big mistake in my life. Goodness.

I DON'T WANNA HAVE TO SUFFERRRRR :'(

I guess one of my biggest fears is.. a fear of failure. Failure sucks. Why does failure even exist. Why can't we all make it in life and pass with flying colours WITHOUT having to fail.

This is just one of the 101 things I gotta ask God when I die. Or even better, if I get to find out the answer BEFORE I die. Maybe I'll attain a state of mentality that will make me so wise that I answer my own questions of Life.

Thanks for reading. If my MacBook suddenly resuscitates itself again, I tell ya, the Messiah is coming back hahaha jokes.


Update: my MacBook just killed itself the third time. THE MESSIAH IS COMINGJEAGLEJAJRWJILAN RUN FOR YOUR LIVESSSSS. If it dies one more time and I have to revive it, it just means my laptop is plain wonky. I don't have to be dramatic about everythingg.