Let me find my blogging mojo once again alright! I'm at a low stage right now. Dunno why either. Busy with life? Maybe... lately I don&...

Low blogging mojo right now

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Let me find my blogging mojo once again alright! I'm at a low stage right now. Dunno why either. Busy with life? Maybe... lately I don't know what to blog about. I'm kinda bored with the internet. I'm scrolling blogs to read as well but bloggers don't blog nowadays. I'm doing this data entry thing, whereby I key in survey responses. It's a survey done by a phD student in my school finding out social networking site usage and the ones that I'm tabulating were given to Serangoon JC students to fill out. On a range of 1-7, how often do you use SNSs like Blogs, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, etc. Of course, I saw a string of 7s for Instagram. It's such a used thing now. Booming trend especially among youths. My friend and I would always wonder why the kids younger than us would always get like 100+++ likes for their pictures?! Crazy. As for the survey responses on blogs? Meh, I saw mostly below 4s. Rarely 5 and above. Nobody types anymore or talks about their lives anymore. Bite-sized pictures rule the Social Networking sphere now. Research backs that up, not that it was a research to find out about the phenomenon but users' habits and patterns. I guess as life becomes more fast-paced, people have less time to sit down, contemplate and regurgitate their thoughts in word-form. Quite sad don't you think. What's interesting as I tabulated those responses was that I saw some people actually wrote stuff on their survey forms. It wasn't part of any question, they just wrote stuff on their own accord. I saw them rarely, one in maybe 50 surveys. Somebody actually wrote in the survey beside one of the questions: "I use social network to run away from things I don't want to face" Wow.... it was actually kind of depressing to read that. It wasn't even part of the survey to write anything down, just circle from 1-7 on how much you agree/disagree but this person was actually emotionally drawn out doing that survey. So, well, before you do surveys, know that someone will actually be reading your surveys to tabulate results hahaha.

Anyway, school's out. FYP moderation was yesterday and I'm soooo glad our moderators loved our documentary. Moderation would mean that lecturers and professors who are grading us would ask us questions, which we'd have to provide answers for. Their feedback was something we didn't quite expect. I am only thankful that they really really liked our documentary. I really really like our documentary too haha. I would do it all over again with the girls I worked with. I don't say this with every group I've worked with..... It is kinda bittersweet that school has ended for all of us. I still have exams to sit for in the next couple of weeks, but after that, school truly is officially out. I've been saying in my other posts that I can't believe I'm graduating and I really can't believe that I am. I think especially for us Singaporean kids because school has been a mega large part of all of our lives. To not school anymore is a strange feeling. I think... we all can't help but realise that adulthood sounds scary because that safety net isn't there anymore. We're gonna have to face real-world problems now haha. We no longer have to care just about grades, what our GPA is, whether we'll make it to a jc or poly or uni. There's no straight out institutional pathway to follow already. Parents aren't gonna be there for us to support us as much anymore. We won't have adults like teachers to guide us anymore. Mentors later in life, yeah maybe. But us... we ourselves are becoming adults who will someday also be parents, teachers and mentors. And right now we're facing a point in time in our lives when hey, we're really gonna be doing things ourselves hereon. It is still largely quite exciting for me, but I can sense a lot of my peers are stressed about this. I mean I myself get a bit quizzical about life ahead. Last night the school held a gathering at Clarke Quay for alumni and us Year 4 students after FYP moderation. (such great welfare from the school btw, thank you) And well, everyone's just asking everyone else what the heck are you gonna do after school and now and forever. I can tell you, nobody I've spoken to had a clear idea of what they want to do. I myself just told everyone else that I'm going to do an internship and yada yada yada.

Ah yes, I'm going to Myanmar this July for a 4-month internship. Something I wanted to tell you guys but never got down to coz there never was the mood haha. But yessss I got it!!! And I'll be leaving SG on 29th June. I'm gonna be missing a lot of events here.. like SG50, my mom's birthday... Well, I'll be taking leave to come back for graduation convocation though haw haw so no worries bout that.

But yes, I digressed. All I could tell people was that I'm going to Myanmar. "What will you be doing there?" Oh, business. It's a business consultancy firm that was set up by a Singaporean so businesses interested to set up in Myanmar go there. "Why'd you want to do an internship there?" I just wanted to branch out from communications for a while. They'll need me to do a video there nevertheless but yeah... I just want a taste of something different for a while. I get paid like $400 only but that's ok! I want to experience how it's like in business. "I see.. so what are you going to do after you come back from Myanmar?" Oh, I dunno, I'll see. I liked my time at Channel NewsAsia so maybe I'll go back! But I'm keeping my options open.

So yes, that's something I repeat every time someone asks me. But as you can tell, I don't have a concrete plan. A lot of my peers too. And I think that's ok actually... We're young, it's the time to explore our options and do things that we want to do or try. I can tell some of my friends are a bit lost. I feel like they are scared too and they try to convince themselves that they have a valid interest in something. But sometimes I feel like reaching out to say.. it's ok to not know yet. There's time. And I'm sure when we're out there trying things, we'll find out what it is that will make us tick. And we'll find out what's worth doing for the next part of our lives. I mean... we'll be doing this for the rest of our lives so live and let live. At least know a semblance of what it is but nobody will ever be clear of what lies ahead.

Right now, I'm just more of sad. I was kinda depressed last night coz I didn't expect the last day of school to end like that. I just didn't feel right or maybe feel happy enough. I even turned down going for after drinks coz I didn't feel very up-to-form or whatever it is. I was actually bored. So I started to contemplate on my own as I returned to hall by myself. Trying to give accounts to why I was feeling how I was feeling. I still don't know why actually. Maybe one of those blues and emo things that happen every now and then and I just can't explain why. Or maybe I was just lonely lol. Nevertheless, I'll miss school definitely. I'll miss THIS school. I'll miss having friends. I don't know whether I'll make real friends who aren't tryna become friends with you for utility purposes. I don't think I'll miss doing projects. Well, maybe. I won't miss studying because it has caused me to be stressed. But I'll miss the beauty of studying - solely for the concepts I've learnt and the awareness I've gained.

School's out, unofficially!

It has been such a wordy post. I don't know if you enjoyed reading these thoughts or if anybody reads blogs anymore huu huu :'( I'm gonna head back to studying. For my last. exams. everrrr.


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