A change in background now that I'm back home, after all the Myanmar-I'm-alone-in-my-room-now pictures hahahaha Anyway, this is...

Nothing lor.

A change in background now that I'm back home, after all the Myanmar-I'm-alone-in-my-room-now pictures hahahaha

Anyway, this is the freest time in my life. When people ask me "So.. What are you doing now?" The title of this post is my answer. And they'll be a bit stunned or have well, nothing to say hahahah. One of my friends told me I need to elaborate on my answer... but thing is, I really am doing nothing compared to all the busy corporate people.

I am living the retiree life...

I actually didn't expect job hunting to take a while. It has been, once March is over, almost 3 months that I've been unemployed. Eeks!

But I've been learning a lot actually... 'Nothing' may not be a good answer because recently, I've been attending a few talks and conferences. Sessions to invigorate the mind. And it has sparked some of my choices and helped me narrow down what I want in a job. I have also been having Chinese lessons fortnightly. Reading whenever I can as well. I think learning never stops after school.

A few years ago, I thought being Unemployed was something to be embarrassed about. But after travelling, it isn't. But I must say I can't escape some of the awkwardness of it all when people around me ask me what I've been up to. The culture in Singapore is Certainty. Realism.

To illustrate this, let me give you a scenario which happened just a few days ago while I was waiting at a bus stop. There was a couple who was about 50 years old. The conversation went like this:

Man: He cannot go on like that you know. He has to be realistic! He cannot just keep travelling and travelling. He has to be realistic!! Even when you're realistic, sometimes you also will get into problems. Then how? He really has to wake up.
Lady: *silently nodding after every sentence*

She didn't refute what her husband had to say as he frowned and shook his head while speaking.

Then the bus came. And they stood up and left.

While I stood there still waiting for mine. I couldn't help but smile because well, it was almost as if they were talking to and about me!!!!

Initially, I never felt the pressures of finding a job when I first came home. But after a month, the pressure slowly crept in as I met my friends and relatives. It's the Singapore society, which frowns upon anything that involves a little uncertainty. The man is afraid for his son who obviously hasn't settled down on what he wants. The lady doesn't really know what to say. Maybe she thinks it's ok for her son to travel for a bit? But a part of her can't help but agree with her husband too... My friends haven't outrightly disapproved my status, but it's obvious through their facial expressions and unconscious body movements. One of them even sent me a private message to encourage me in my job hunting, though I never expressed that I was worried about it. But you see, that's the thing, they assumed that I was afraid.

Lovely as the thought was to send me that private message, I am not worried. And I don't think I need to because... I know in my guts I'll get the job. It may not be the perfect IT job, but I know it will be something I can pour my heart into for the years ahead. Of course the search will take a little bit of patience from me and guidance from the universe. Om Mani Padme Om!

Definitely, I can't help but feel sad that I'm not able to contribute to the household income and set my parents completely free yet. But at least, I am thankful for their patience with me. They know I am someone whom they don't have to worry about. Once I've set my sights on the horizon, they know that I will get it.

To repay their kindness, I've been the house maid hahaha. Washing clothes, hanging them to dry and then taking them down and folding all of it. This clothes thing has become strangely therapeutic for me. It started out as... I'm not looking forward to touching the men's undies and washing my entire family's clothes. To... hey the sun is out, time to catch the GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY to dry all the clothes!!!!!

My family has threatened to repatriate me back to my country. But what are they talking about? THIS IS my country. I am the house elf. And a happy one.

So... despite all the worries from people around me, I hope that they know that I'm actually really really happy right now. I have almost zero commitments. I am still a growing, thinking human being. It is sad when I hear my friends tell me of their workplace horrors. And let me tell you, they are absolutely dreadful. Sometimes, I wonder if work is what I should look forward to when all I hear are sad, depressing stories. Boss woes. Unfair work distribution. Competition. Jesus!

Sounds a lot like.... The Real World.

I am not running away from anything like that. The time will come for me to have my piece. Bring. it. on.

So I busk in my time now. In fact, I have a piece of good news to share with you guys. I'm pregnant!!! Nah I'm just kidding though I must admit, I've been having a lot of maternal thingums boiling within me lately it's crazy. Like I really want to have a baby of my own right now. To love and to care for. Oooohhhmphhh!!

Alright, see ya later suckers. The momentum for my travel posts has almost died and I really hope I can revive it some time this week.

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