It's been ten years since I first started blogging... I remember blogspot was all the rage when I was 14 and everyone was blogging. Some, every single day. And I think at that age, we all needed a place where we could vent frustrations and have a place and space to talk to and about ourselves, then share those experiences with readers. In a way, it helped many teens express themselves.

I'm not sure about now, with Instagram, where it's essential to post happy stuff, and only happy stuff. I can imagine how difficult it is for a teen to be able to truly express angst and sadness - blogs gave that sort of comfort because it was long-form and needn't be visual. It could merely be text (like this post) and we could rant all we wanted. Like a diary, only public. But social media now is kind of slip-shod and I think doesn't offer enough space and calm for self-talk. There's too much feedback - all the likes, comments and instant shares. It can be very noisy and disruptive. And I hope youngsters today are aware of social media's impact on their well-being and self-esteem.

But it's not just youngsters... I think even some adults aren't aware of that. And they've forgotten about the importance and need for deep conversations and self-discovery. Don't you know? Learning about yourself never stops. You never stop growing. Even when you're 50. And I think it's important to have conversations with oneself.

I've been speaking to a number of people the past few days and months... both male and female. And you may think emotional rants stop after puberty. But I realise there's a lot of pent up emotional frustration in a lot of people. Many times, I find them opening up to me and telling me things about themselves, sharing experiences about their lives... Most of them of the emotional variant.

It's all right to be emotional. I'm emotional. But I believe a person must be able to not just tell someone about their experiences, but also reflect and talk to themselves about it. The conversation must first start from within. And one must acknowledge that emotions are a part of us and accept that they come and go. No point suppressing emotion - there will only be more pain... not now but maybe in the future. We only need to find a way to acknowledge and express these emotions, then let them go.

I've come to realise that a lot of us are simply, very lonely. There is deep loneliness in our society... We've stopped conversations with ourselves and one another. Often, I wish we can all find a place, in our own ways, where we can express our thoughts and ideas. In a non-judgmental way. It need not be verbal, or written, it could be through art or sport, even fashion. Usually people find that in a hobby - like calligraphy or skateboarding. Self-expression is extremely important... but I find many haven't found that avenue yet.

For me, it's blogging. And it always has been. The conversations with myself are important and serve as reminders. Literally. Because I tend to forget things. Both failures and successes - important milestones in my life. I think it's essential to stop once in a while and try to understand why I think the way I think and why I feel the way I feel. There are so many things I've learnt and can learn just by talking to myself through writing in my blog.

And in a way, by sharing my thoughts, I might just be helping someone else who's struggling with the same thoughts. At least you might not be alone in this. So I feel happy writing as well :-)

That's why even though the blogging culture is long gone, I will keep writing. And I may not know how long I will keep blogging for, but at least for now, I know that I will keep blogging.


............... psssst, i know i haven't been updating much or as often as i want to. i no longer blog simply because i went to this event or had a weekend activity. often my posts would be about my epiphanies or issues that concern me in singapore's society. every now and then, i will still update you about the things that happen in my life - like which friend is getting married (or if I'M getting married hahaha) or when's my next adventure. this will always be a place for me to connect with myself and you.... so don't worry, i won't leave just yet ;-)