A few nights ago, I was having dinner with a couple of my uni friends when I heard someone shout "Si Hui!"

I went, "omg, Serene!!!!!!! Ok, lemme talk to you outside the restaurant!!"

Serene used to sit right next to me in class when we were sec 3/4 and we'd sit right in front of the classroom i'd always gossip bout the teachers not knowing they'd be able to hear me and serene would chide me hahahahah

I told them, it's because we hadn't seen each other for 10 years!!!! The last time was back in secondary 4, the last year of school. She was also very happy to see me because... she wanted to tell me how happy she was for me, because since secondary school, she knew that I'd always known what I wanted to do - go to a mass communication school and then become a journalist - and that she was happy to see that I had reached that goal. I was honestly very touched :') Because not many knew about my ambition back then, and she witnessed how I'd gradually worked my way there, through updates on social media.

It's little things like this that help me get through a tough work week :)

She reminded me that... I am actually living the dream.

I was also very happy for her - She started her own biz while in poly, then got to NUS and now working at Enterprise Singapore, which is pretty amazing. She even recently got married :') I am just as happy for her, as she is for me. We were both from a little known secondary school called Coral Secondary (which no longer exists btw hahah) and here we are. 

I also recently met up with Vidthiya, my Tampines JC friend, whom I also hadn't met for a long time - at least 6 years... She went to the UK to further her studies and we kind of lost contact after that.

and here we are today, journalist and lawyer

She too, had always known that she wanted to become a lawyer.
We're both living the dream :)

But of course, it's not always been smooth sailing.
The dream is not an end point.

During the ASEAN Summit last week, I was tasked to write a story about one of the showcases there. While vetting my story, an editor started questioning what I wrote, why I wrote it a certain way and whether I understood the point of the story. I was stuck. I couldn't come up with an answer, and as time ticked away, her patience wore and she started to become really frustrated with me, even raising her voice at one point - I froze. And then I finally gave an answer that she seemed partially satisfied with.

But it's an example to show you that I still struggle with what I do. There are times when I feel like I still don't know what I'm doing yet, whether I'm good enough - why I can't think fast enough like everyone else. There's that imposter syndrome that I often get as well, when I wonder if I actually deserve to be where I am right now. That maybe I won't be able to learn the tricks of the trade quick enough.

Then, this is when hanging out with folks with experience comes in handy.

past and present colleagues at a farewell party a few nights ago

I learn from the best.

Each one of these people, I've definitely approached them for advice before.

And it's nice to know past colleagues telling me that they've heard good things about my work, and to keep it up. I told Dylan, a former reporter, that sometimes, I don't get the stories fast enough. That my news sense needs sharpening. That I can't think on my feet quick enough. It was very reassuring when he told me, "It's normal. I was like that too when I first started out. And I only got the hang of things around my fourth year of reporting." He'd been a reporter for eight years, eighttt long years and to hear that, I thought hey, I still got some time ahead of me. It's only been about 7 months, I still have time :-)

So that's what I tell myself too - that there's time. And that I will pick things up along the way, not to worry.

With that, I can say that all these years, I've been really lucky... To have known what I wanted to do at a really young age of 15. It's helped massively carving out a path for me.

Serene asked me "Was it hard navigating this path?"

I didn't reply her immediately. I thought about it and... I realise there were a couple of bumps. Like one time when I questioned if the media industry was really where I wanted to be. It wasn't easy getting to each milestone either, I remember working really really really hard for my A levels to do well enough to get into my dream faculty at university.

Other than that, I simply followed the path that I had envisioned for myself, and I followed it using my instincts, and listening to all of my heart...