I was reading this article about how a 12 year old girl wrote a letter to her future self, which was to be opened only 10 years later. The girl unfortunately died of pneumonia and her parents found out about her letter and shared the contents of it. You can read the article here.

She wrote words of encouragement to herself and I found it very smart and intelligent of her to do such a thing at that age. It was sad that she never lived to see the day when she'd get to open and read that letter to herself 10 years later.

Then, I was thinking... I should do the same. Coz let's say, I'm turning 22 this year, 10 years later, I'd be 32! So much would've gone by. And if I were 12 years old and had done the same thing, I'd be reading a letter I wrote to myself this year. I wonder what I would've said. PSLE sucks? I hope life after 6 more years of education hasn't ruined you. And if you're in University now, good job Si Hui! Coz you've always thought University people are really smart and old hahaha.

So I'mma type something to myself right now for my future self 10 years later. Today is 12th January 2014. To be read again on 12th January 2024. Woah.



"Dear Si Hui,

Hello hello, I am here talking to you and yourself from the past in 2014.

It's pretty awesome now in 2014, you're in your third year of University, doing an internship now at the one and only media broadcasting company in Singapore. Life is treating you pretty well actually. One more year to go and you'll be thrusted in the working world.

At 32, you've probably gotten a good taste of what the working world is like. Today, on this day in 2014, you fell down coz you geh kiang went down a steep slope and didn't wear an elbow guard.

Ouch.

Looks terrible, and you constantly ask yourself why you always fall down when you go roller blading.
But for every fall, you get up and you tell yourself, that wound will heal, you hope there won't be scars but you know it'll heal. And well, at least you tried that steep slope. Maybe you'll try blading down again but you know prolly never to go down that stupid slope again. Yet, you're proud of yourself for trying.

10 years later, I hope you've been telling yourself that constantly. I'm sure you've had your share of failings and tryings and disappointments time and again but know that you should always stand up and give yourself a chance. 32? Nah, that's not very old.

I hope you've accomplished all that you'd set out to achieve when you were 21. You wanted to do so many things, and by 32 I'm sure you have. I'm so certain that the 32 years old Tan Si Hui has achieved so much in her 20s. But there are still some of the ambitions that you wanted to do but didn't get to, and I urge you, 32 year old Si Hui, TO GET OUT THERE AND DO IT. You're not too old. You're not old. If you don't do it now, you never will and I will have to write another letter to myself at 42 to do it. And that would be a little too old already so get out there and do it you lazy bum. Don't make excuses.
Right now at 22, I'm of course more young and energetic but hey, if you don't do it in your early 30s, you're just never gonna do it.

 If you're successful by 32, I want you to know that, you must always remember to have humility. No matter what, you must remain humble and true to yourself. When you were 22, arrogance was a characteristic you despised and so, you musn't be a hypocrite 10 years later. That's stupid. Remember, you're never above anyone else. You are one and the same, like everyone else. Always contribute back to society if you have the means and time to do so. And I know you do, I can imagine your guilty look now, Tan Si Hui.

 - You just took a 2 mins break from writing this to check Facebook.

Yeah Facebook was TOTALLY IN. I dunno about 2024. Maybe there's some really cool social media app thing. Or maybe technology is just so bloody advanced that... I really dunno, it's some invisible thing that's hooked to your brain or some shit. As always, you're very amazed by technology. You're always slow when it comes to technology too hahaha. Last to sign up to these things. Take time off technology sometimes and busk in some good-old ways.


I have a very important question I want to ask you, Tan Si Hui.


And that is.... ARE YOU MARRIED??!?!??!?????

Are you married omg, are you married Tan Si Hui????? DO YOU HAVE KIDS?! ARE YOU A MOTHER NOW?! WAS CHILD LABOUR PAINFUL!?!??! I hope your vageegee doesn't hurt now.

Is your husband caring? Is he handsome? Is he smart and intelligent? And most of all, Does he love you?

I swear to God I hope he does. If he slaps you, you know what to do. Take your children and run far away from him. When you were 22, you always know that when a man gets violent, he will never stop being violent. I hope you're not a hopeless romantic.

I also hope you're not jaded by married life. But you're probably not, I mean you're only 32. Not like 42. Ahhh, Tan Si Hui, how's married life? I've always wondered ya know and only you will know by now as you read this. I hope you've learnt to cook coz that was one of your major concerns. Being able to know how to cook for your children lol lol. If not, please enrol yourself into a cooking class. Chinese food first please, coz you are Chinese.

If you do have kids, I wonder what are their names. At 22, you can't give a shit about kids names. So you prolly had a tough time deciding. Was it a boy first? Or a girl? Remember, to love them whether or not boy or girl, I know you want boy first but hey... girls will be good older sisters : ) LOVE THEM AND REMEMBER TO......... LOVE THEM!!!!!!!!!! Don't forsake them coz of work.

Also, what's their race? Full Chinese? At 22, you thought having full Chinese kids was boring. Have you married an Indian guy and given birth to Chindian kids?? Hahahahhahaa. You are retarded really.


But then again.... at 32... YOU MIGHT NOT EVEN BE MARRIED. You planned to get married at 30 when you were 22, so at 32... hmm.. there are a number of things I need to ask you.

Are you dating?? Are you seeing any guys? Are they good guys? How long have you been dating?

Coz if you know HE'S the ONE, don't bloody wait for him to propose to you already. YOU do it. HURRY UP AND GET HIM TO GET DOWN ON ONE KNEE AND HAND OVER A 32-CARAT DIAMOND RING NOW. Why 32? Coz you're 32 years old hahahahhahaha, that was bloody lame. But, please, don't wait no further. What are you waiting for?

Is the HDB price and COE price freakin high now? Are there too much things bogging you down that the 22 year-old-you never had to think of? I'm sure you've a lot of financial concerns now and probably financial stability is something you're constantly thinking of. Migrate? No, never think of migrating. You know you loved Singapore so much and nothing will make you leave your country. Let me tell you Si Hui, sort out your finances now, think it through, slowly, you're never someone to rush through things. Clear anything that you want out. And be organised.

Back to your love life.

Is the guy someone you don't see a future with? If it is, you know what to do. Break up. Don't wait any longer. You know deep in your heart that he's not the one for you so DO IT.

If you're not dating... THEN WTF ARE YOU DOING?!??!! On the shelf at 32!!! Get up and find someone to love my friend. But you know what, if you're still single, always remember and know that you are always awesome. I wouldn't understand how you're still single coz you know you're awesome lah. Men must be blind. If no one else loves you, you must remember.. TO LOVE YOURSELF. Don't fall into despair, coz there's always me to love you. It's quite sick, coz I'm imagining myself um... loving myself. Whatever that means you sick people out there. But yes, always love yourself for who you are and never go back on that. I may be 10 years younger than you but this one, you gotta trust me on that : )


Family and Friends.

Mom and dad must be real old by now... Like really old. I hope they're all in good health. I hope dad never stops feeding his fishes and going for his bike rides. You know he loved doing that. Did he really get a motorbike? And I hope mom is still funny as ever. Kor kor and you loved to make fun of her. Oh, and brother. Meet up with him if you haven't. He's your only sibling and you and him will only always have each other. That sentence probably just committed a number of grammatical sins but whatever. Remember how you two always laughed at each other? Lame jokes only both of you know. Time has passed and you probably haven't had time for one another in a long time. Go out. Watch a movie, do something. Oh and I hope Kor gave mom and dad the grandchildren they've always wanted lollll. He's supposed to get married first what hello two years older? Well, I just hope the family is still on great terms and everyone is healthy and happy. (and someone strikes 4D)

As for friends, wow, I dunno if you're still in contact with ALL of them. But your 22 year old self hopes that you still have your secondary school, jc, university friends close to you. Well, those who matter. And if you don't... hmm.. I understand. Well, people change I guess. EVEN YOU. You probably changed. I hope you didn't fall out with anyone or gotten distant with your friends. Coz friends are always important to you. You can never sustain yourself without them. So, ask them out for coffee or something. I don't like coffee actually, maybe you decided you like coffee 10 years later. Have a chat, a laugh, bring back the good old times, when everything was more or less simpler. Oh, the things we talk about- silly girly things. I admit they are now hahaha so that I won't have to laugh at myself 10 years later. So yes, I hope you remember that we promised to be friends for the longest time ever till we become grannies and maybe our kids know one another too hahaha. Wow that is forward looking indeed.


Last of all,

I want to tell you that, I want you to be happy. Whatever you're doing right now, I hope it's bringing much happiness and joy and not stress or things that just bog you down. Get out of it and do something for yourself or someone. No need for you to be unhappy over things that waste your time. BREAK FREEEEE and do things you want to do now. Things were much simpler 10 years ago, you have a lot more responsibilities now, but I'm sure the 32 year old you will know what to do to take control of your own life. Travel, if you've the time. It used to be one of the things you had the freedom to do when you were younger. Start your own talk show lol. Do whatever.

Oh, what is 'lol'? Well lol is laughing out loud, but you never really laugh-out-loud, it's just a term that's just used all the time. Lol.

I'm gonna end here now because my Macbook is dying at 8% battery. I think future laptops will definitely last longer than mere 2-3 hours. And lighter too. They're prolly not called laptops anymore. I dunno what they're called.


THE FUTURE IS MINE TO IMAGINE AND YOURS TO KNOW.


I'm excited for you Si Hui, really I am. Don't disappoint me hor. I send all the love in the world to myself.

Yours Truly,

Should've listened to everyone to go to bed early yesterday.

When I was still awake at 2am and had to wake up at 6:30am, my bro was like, WHY YOU STILL HAVEN"T SLEEP YET?! And in my super act chill act cool tone, "Aiya, confirm awake one lah first day of work leh of coz awake lah. In school I also sleep like that. Same timing all. 4 hours can lah" He was like, school and work different eh!

True enough, it was different. I was so tired after lunch. Maybe food coma.

But anyway, Day 1 of work was surprisingly GOOD?

I was SO excited to see all the news rooms and I was granted a tour around CNA (coz I asked hahaha). My goodness, I was as happy and excited as can be, smiling at ANYONE and EVERYONE. (Smiled at all the tv presenters hahah) Was introduced to SO many people that I swear I tried my best at remembering. I typed some names down somemore.

And of coz, as the new intern, other than my supervisors, I also had to introduce myself. "Hello my name is Si Hui". "What? No English name ah. You want Susan or Suzie"

"Suzie".

So Hi everyone, I got another name that will probably be adopted for the next 6 months. Another name to add to the list of Sally, Sue, Stingz and Ser Hui. It's Suzie now.

2 camera men gave me that name and they are the most chillax and fun people to be with. They're incredibly helpful as well. Giving me tips and advice and letting me listen on conversations. I love em eh. Whenever I try to help em with equipment, they say no, don't help. I said I got nothing to do ah. They told me, "Don't let people take advantage of you".

Lesson number 1 on Day 1.

I realised the work climate in my department, current affairs, is damnnn chilllll. Like I was freakin overdressed man. I wore my mom's office skirt lol lol. But anyway, yeah. I like it eh. The team was friendly as well. A few ex school mates who graduated already were working there as well but we haven't really talked yet.

But I wasn't really myself coz I read from somewhere that on the first day of work, try to keep it low and not crack too much jokes and stuff. I dunno, felt a bit strange like I couldn't fully express myself. But 6 months, I will acclimatise eventually. And I know this is damn juvenile and perhaps not very professional like, but I hope to make good friends from my workplace?!?! I feel like they're very nice people and if given time, I think can hang out one leh? I was told multiple times that I'm lucky coz it really is a happy team. And 6 months... I really hope something awesome comes out of it.

Initially I wasn't too sure. Too quick to judge. Coz after looking at all the newsrooms, I really wanted to have a go at news for a few months. But I'm in CA and they're 2 different departments. But actually production for CA looks to be pretty fun too! Hope I get a go at both lah and learn as much as I can. Don't really like what prod admin is about while in school, but I hope it's different in the real world lol (dream on). Even if it isn't, well, I guess, there's always a starting point ha.

Today's work was quite a bit. Went out to film and I had to get people to be interviewed. Damn, it really is difficult but I've been through it coz of my own school projects so no fear. : ) School does help prep you. Also, did some beauty takes well they call it beauty takes.. they're b-roll and overlap takes.

Ahhh.... it was a tiring first day and I hope I'll be kept busy for the rest of my stay there. I was one of the few interns there who was busy on the first day! The rest had nothing to do. So I'm glad. But tmr... I'm asked to report at 10am HAHAHA so it's like good leeway.

I saw SO MANY presenters it was kinda strange seeing them in real life. It really was quite thrilling at first to see so many of them. I shook Melanie Oliveiro's hand and told her I see her on tv and felt like a fan girl wahlau macam bimbo good Lord. Hope she wasn't rolling her eyes at the back of her head. Sigh. Hahaha, and I saw so many others it was quite insane. My colleagues (omg colleague really colleague?!) said they're kinda desensitised by them already. So I guess by the end of a few months, I won't be starstruck anymore. They really are just one of us.

I wish I wasn't so tired on my first day. I had a lillll bit of throbbing in my head prolly due to lack of sleep. Otherwise, I think I'd be so much more pro-active. And I was wearing a fitting skirt can't even sit however I want. ALL OUT TOMORROW, ALL OUT.

I'm really happy I got the internship of my century. Not yours but MY CENTURY hahahahahahha whatever that means but srsly I think I'm happy that I like doing this. And I want to look forward to work everyday despite the tiring hours. I slept like a log the whole way through in the bus back home.

I realise this is my true first test of work life. Like previously, it was just relief teaching and on-off sales jobs so not really counted? Let's see how it goes after today.

K see ya guys.

Hey guys, I actually typed quite a bit in a post about Laos this afternoon but realised I wasn't really feeling it when I typed so maybe that's gotta wait for a bit.

I think coz I'm more excited about what's gonna happen later!!? Internship ahhh! Work work work. Hope there ain't gonna be too much office politics. Gonna wake up real early tmr to get ready and catch the 53 bus to Bishan and then another bus to Caldecott. Whew.

Got to do some scanning and photocopying of documents. Can't find my damn official A/O Levels certs argh. I'm gonna have to scan other documents instead. Nugget.

Things like what to wear and how to make an impression are on my mind as well. I think my parents are more nervous than I am? Like they tell me "If you don't know things, you have to ask ok", "Is there a cafeteria there?", "You have to be smart in the workplace, don't let people bully you". Children will always remain as children in their parents' eyes. I think that's the quote. So best of luck to me ya.

In the meantime, I leave you with a beautiful photo of me in Laos taken by a friend : )

Here's a picture of one of my absolute most favourite place in the worldddd.
I always feel so damn calm, happy and at peace whenever I visit this place. It's the place where we had bbq in Laos.

So first and foremost, Happy New Year everyone!!!! I hope 2013 treated you well coz it did for me. Very very well in fact. First half was exchange in New Zealand and the second Laos. It was a very good year for me indeed and looking back, I really can't help but feel so happy thinking about how 2013 went. Like everyone else, I hope 2014 will be just as awesome and that'll I'll learn more as I grow another year older. I wish I could remain 21 forever but that's not possible and I need to grow to learn and do all sorts of things in life waiting for me.

Also, I have yet mentioned in this blog and that is, this coming 6 months, I wouldn't be going to school coz I've been expelled and I've to kiss my sorry ass goodbye. Hahaha, the first part is true, getting expelled nah, I haven't heard of people getting expelled from university. But yes, like every Year 3 student in my school, the second half of the term is devoted to Professional Internship (PI). Which means, I am off to work for 6 months as I learn the ropes of the media industry. And Internship starts on freakin MONDAY. 6th January. Can you believe it?! Soooo fast. I hardly have time to breathe after coming back from Laos and I'm flung to do PI. Ahhhhhhhhhhh. I think even YOU as a reader are surprised right? I mean like I'M just so surprised by myself by the speed that things are occurring. While I was in Laos, I was quite afraid by how little time I would have left for myself before LIFE decides to jumpstart again. Sigh. But at the same time, I've been looking forward to starting work! I've been thinking about it since I was allocated to my company. I know you guys are curious as to where I'm gonna head off to. I dunno if there are gonna be repercussions if I reveal it here but darn it, I'm just gonna say it. It's Channel NewsAsia. It's been my absolute DREAMMM company. No joke bros. I think my friends who know me know that that's where I've been wanting to work in. No, I'm not gonna be on screen if that's what you're wondering coz a billion people have asked me that. I'm working behind the scenes and that's where I wanna start. I hope I'm not given saikang to do though coz I really want to learn stuff and not be doing paperwork or some sort throughout my 6 months there. That'd be sad man. I'm ready to go all out if I have to!!! My seniors told me work is gonna drain the life out of me. And it's no fun at all. But... I'm seriously quite excited to start work!? I'm pretty sick of studying actually. I really want to work work work. Yeah, and not get jaded mid-sem. So CNA HERE I COMEEEEE. I still can't believe I'm attached to CNA actually. Really think it'll be fun getting down to doing things in CNA and meeting media professionals who hopefully are nice and have loads to share with me the puny lil communications intern.

So yeah, those are some updates about me. I feel like this blog receives new revelations about Tan Si Hui every time she blogs. Even Tan Si Hui feels exasperated sometimes hahahaha but she trudges on!!!! Whooo.

Speaking of studying, I haven't checked my results because my ntu account got locked after trying several times to log in while I was in Laos. Well, I forgot my password you see. So I emailed the school when I came back to Singapore and finally got my account unlocked and password changed. I held my breath as I logged into my account to check my results and LO AND BEHOLD. The damn thing told me.... I had outstanding school fees to pay hahahahahaha. Whatta loser. Results and me were not meant to be coz it says that I have to pay my fees otherwise I won't get to view my results. So I just sent in a cheque yesterday and I shall wait for the school to process it. Which is 2 days. THEN I can view my results. SO I estimated, since yesterday was New Year's Eve that would mean that prolly they'd only get my mail sent by earliest Thursday and then 2-3 days later it's processed. Damn, I think I can only view them next week. God bless me. All that waiting FOR WHAT. FOR WHAT YOU TELL ME. Hahaha.

Ah well, at least this coming semester, I won't have to be stressed about studies. Goodness. A reprieve from academic rigour. Rigour that I feel is very much quite senseless.

So, New Year's Resolution? I started off this post thinking I won't have a New Year's Resolution. But I think I have one now. And it's the cheesiest most clichéd Resolution you hear EVERY single year from at least one pathetic soul. This year, that pathetic soul is me. Haha, so here goes.

My New Year's Resolution for 2014 is, to spend more time with Family and Friends. SEE I TOLD YOU. Sibeh cliché and boring one. I warn you already you still judge me. Nabeh. Hahahhaa. But seriously, 2013 taught me how people other than myself in other countries have so much time for each other. I went to 2 countries that had super slow-paced of life and people just had more time to spend with one another and were more WILLING to spend time with one another. No bloody excuses, no unwillingness to share. Just purely the joy of busking in each other's company. Something everyone here in Singapore lacks in. Well at least I'm proud to say that I don't use my mobile when I'm with my friends haha. But that's beside the point. The point is... we need to make time for people. Yeah, I'm giving myself a lecture on that.

Even though I decided for myself that that would be my new year's resolution, I keep thinking it's a pretty lame resolution. Maybe coz it's not special. Yeah, it sure as hell isn't. But I guess, it's these simple lil clichéd things that we often think aren't important but are? Wow, even that phrase per se sounded cliché. But I shall learn to love all things cliché since they hold some value nevertheless. I guess, maybe, past resolutions were all about me and myself. About how I should be a better person blahblah. Time I think about everyone else around me. Actually, I don't even remember 2013's resolution. DID I EVEN HAVE ONE!? Ahh shucks.

Oh ok, I just went to check it. It's "I'm allowed to fail"

Omg I just read the entire post and I feel a sense of sadness and happiness at the same time???! Sad because reading what I was struggling with is absolutely sad man!? Happy because I think I've grown so much stronger within the year! And I attribute it very much to my time in exchange. I seriously grew a lot from my time then. I feel mentally tougher than before because of exchange. Time alone overseas is always time for self-discovery.

Wow I never meant for the blog post to end up like that. I wanted to blog about Laos, but I shall leave it for tomorrow ya! Much excites to what I'm about to share with yalllll. To me, my second time in Laos was very different from the first but just as awesome the experience.

See you tmr then, I'm having dim sum with the family. See, New Year's Resolution totally playing out from Day 1 bitches. What about you? HAPPY 2014 again everyone!!!!!!